Cast Information

 

Francis Henshall — Francis has to have a tremendous amount of energy. Frances is onstage most of the show. He communicates directly with the audience. He eats, a lot. He’s described as big-boned, but that’s not necessary to make the character work.   His hunger (for food and Dolly) and his childish frustration whenever anything gets in the way that makes him Francis – Playing range, 30 to 50.

 

Charlie “The Duck” Clench — Originally from London, Charlie spent some time in Brixton Prison, had an unhappy marriage to a long-gone wife, and now is devoted to his daughter. Charlie’s very smart about some things (his relationship to the Crabbes) and very stupid about other things.  Playing range, 50 to 65.

 

Rachel Crabbe — She does not seem to be very upset at the death of her brother, Roscoe. Dressed up as Roscoe, she’s described as looking very similar to Ringo Starr. She is desperately, passionately in love with Stanley, and though she has a very honest relationship with Pauline, she should be terrifying to everyone else (particularly Francis and the Duck).   She is the first guvnor.  Playing range, 30 to 40.

 

Stanley Stubbers — He’s a thug, a murderer, a romantic. He’s not so smart. He is a bully and a little casually racist (at one point he says that he “doesn’t do first names. First names are for girls and Norweigans.”), but his heart seems to be in the right place. He also speaks directly to the audience at times.  He is comfortable with violence—he knocks Alfie/Alfina around with a cricket bat twice. He is the second guvnor.  Playing range, 40 to 60.

 

Lloyd Boateng — An old friend of Clench’s (from prison), Lloyd makes his living these days as the chef at the Cricketer’s Arms, a pub that is the center of the action for the end of the first act. Lloyd is smarter than most everyone in the play and figures out some of the insane misunderstandings long before the rest. It would be great if we could play him as he was originally conceived—a man of Jamaican descent. He also plays the steel drum in a segue.  Playing range, 50 to 65

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Harry/Harriet Dangle — Clench’s lawyer and the parent of the groom. A crooked lawyer who thinks of themselves as well to do. As things get more chaotic in the second act, Harry/Harriet’ class and sophistication is juxtaposed against the insane ridiculousness of the action. Loves to speak Latin, irrelevantly. This role, can be played by anyone and is not bound by gender.  Playing range, 45 to 65

 

Pauline Clench — She gets some of the greatest jokes. Charlie’s moronic daughter, Pauline is always slightly confused as to what exactly is happening. She is very easily persuaded, though, and after Rachel explains the situation to her she is totally on board in deceiving her father. She and Alan are star-crossed-lovers. Her emotions are huge, her intellect tiny. Alan says that she has a brain like an empty thermos. He means it as a compliment.  Playing range, 30 to 50

 

Alan Dangle — He was born Orlando Dangle, but there was already one of those in the actor’s union. He is an artist! A poet! He speaks with a lot of exclamation points! He challenges Roscoe/Rachel to a duel with a knife he got at the drugstore. He’s really not cut out to hang around with these criminals. His accent/dialect is much fancier and he is joyously pretentious. Playing range, 30 to 50

 

 

Dolly — Just Dolly. Dolly is the most intelligent person in the show (well, her and Lloyd) but she does have a bit of an irrational crush on Frances. She really sees through him but plays along much of the time because his outrageous lying delights her. Dolly has a lot of proto-feminist speeches in the show, acting as counterpoint for some of the period chauvinism on display here. She directly interacts with the audience, particularly the females in the audience. She works as a bookkeeper but winds up being drawn into all the madness surrounding the Clench household.  Playing range, 30 to 50

 

Alfie/Alfina —  is in his eighties an in very poor health. Remembers WWI and saw some terrible things. Wears a pacemaker implanted that can be turned up to an extra jolt. In Act I, scene four, Alfie/Alfina will be thrown down the stairs (twice), get hit in the head with a cricket bat, and knock themselves unconscious with a corkscrew.  This role is a slapstick dream and is to be played by an agile actor who will obviously be a lot younger than the character and will be aged up accordingly. This role can be played by anyone and is not bound by gender.

 

Ensemble, which can be made up from people wanting to be involved in smaller roles and stage crew, such as Gareth the head waiter, “Christine Patterson”, various waiters and police officers, the guy with the hummus sandwich, bartender, cab driver, and the band.

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